FÜNKE & ASSOCIATES SEEK LICENSED PROFESSIONALS

It helps to be familiar with Arrested Development, specifically a gag from this episode; but I think it works either way.

Click on CL post to embiggen:

jobs > healthcare jobs

  • 20 replies, read after the jump.
  • Most people on craigslist clearly aren’t Arrested Development fans.
  • Oh Tobias, you blowhard!
  • Your posting has been flagged for removal.

Replies

Seriously it says analrapists. Good luck with that post. I would consider using analyst/therapist at all times!! Just trying to help… Have a good day!!

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XXXX Me – I mean, Pick Me!

I have at least one year’s solid experience working for “analrapists” at my present job and another 3 years experience working for other “analrapists” in the area.  XXXX, XX, was certainly the right move for me because I’ve been able to further my education and stretch my insight to depths previously thought impossible.

Today I thank gods for the skews of wisdom I have achieved simply by exercising my right to work to survive.  Please allow me to serve your purpose.

Censorly,

Mister Fister

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😀

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…but my business card nearly got me arrested…..LOL

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i am flagging this you pervert

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You have got to be kidding me!  “analrapists”

There is no listing for your organization in XXXX, XX.  There are many people in the Craigslist community working hard to stop scams just like this!

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I am an energy worker.  Reiki or whatever you call it.

Since I am a retired member of the armed forces, I am interested in

PTSD.  I have developed a technique that works well with PTSD and I have included one testimonial for it. Since it works for PTSD, I am sure it will work for most forms of “Blue Man.” Rather than put your faith in a resume, give me a willing subject, and I will brighten their day.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am contacting you based on a referral from Craigslist.  I am interested in the in the“anal rapists” position, let me help you “Blue Man Group” I got the medicine for Funke & Associate and therefore attached my resume. I just need a chance, I can do anything.

I relocated to XXXX, XX to be successful.  I’ve spent the last four years living in XXXX and going to college. Now it is time to start my career. I am on my own Oregon Trail without killing buffalo.

I look forward to the opportunity discuss how my education and experience would meet with your needs.

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Editor’s Note: This is from a resume sent to me.

OBJECTIVE

Obtain the anal rapist position with Funke & Associate that will utilize my education, training and experiences in business administration, organizational behavior, financial management, and sales.

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“Analrapists”?!?!  Anal Rapists?!?!

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Will I get use of the seaward as a fringe benefit? I like boating on my off time.

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Hello,

I recenstly found your postingg on the internet /00–about your seekingdg professiosnals at FÜNKE & ASSOCIATES. As yooiou see3, my family ownss a contra54cting business ((ee#ven though he is in jail). My mothder has never believed in mbe, but I kn00ow I ca n be greate at this jobob. Is your firmm located n3eear water? If so, I cannot work there. I have been in the ar,my and hav always wanted to get punnched in the4 face. Rite me back.

BUSTER B.

P.S. Sorry aboutu my typgings. I only5 have on3 hand.

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so, about the anal rapist job….

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Dear Tobias Funke and Associates,

I have a lot of experience as a professional analrapist.  In fact, I spent the last several years training under the close tutelage of the DOJ at XXXX.  You may have heard of their excellent work before, but if not, I can provide references from both my Warden and others.

But seriously… kind of funny ad posting, but also slightly mean in these times where people are looking for legitimate work.

Best,

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Are you for real?

³analrapists²? Really? Proofread?

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my name is white power bill and i definately have experience as an anal rapist, ask your dad. no really, i;d like to use him as a reference

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Sorry, I have no qualifications to serve your organization, but if you are not really in the business of “anal raping”, I beg to suggest that calling your employees  “analrapists” will not attract the candidates you are hoping for!  Surely there must be a better title….

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I prematurely blew my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run so I have a mess on my hands too.  So I cannot apply.

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You really should start recording what you say Tobias.

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I feel like there’s a joke I’m missing but I’m at work and there’s no way I’m putting “analrapist” into google.

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