Billionaire Estate Sale

Editor’s note: Under the banner of POV writing, this is the saltiest writing MLOCL has seen.

Click on CL ad to embiggen:

for sale/wanted > garage & moving sales

  • 22 replies, read after the jump.
  • People do not half-step when it comes to the garage sale game.
  • Your posting has been flagged for removal.

Replies

Brilliant.

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When and where is the sale?  Pre-viewing?

Thanks,

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Kind Sir (cough, cough) May I come to to the sale Friday while the servants are setting up . Even though I’m Irish?  I think the robo-man would be the perfect man servant. Or perhaps the perfect husband. I’m also interested in the gun for the present one.  Regards.

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I’m tired of garage sales NOT listing WHERE. WHERE?

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I’m so disappointed there’s no directions to the sale. I wanted 3 monocles

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Arthur??? It’s Liza; don’t do anything rash.

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Lovely…..cheered me up no end.  Wonder what the crowd will be like?   I’ll be there.

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Holy XXXX! the Monopoly man is selling his XXXX

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You, sir, are a dodo.

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We’ll miss you…but don’t worry we will aim again

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Dearest Nobility of not-so-low estate,

It is apparent upon reading the verbose literary wanderings of a lost soul that you are apparently an out-of-work writer of some level of linguistic ability, a VERY rare occurence in the mid-ignorance era in which we live. In an attempt to network, I offer my fluent Spanish-English bilingual skills and can tender credentials to any interested party, should you happen to know of one.

Not possessing an allergy related to work or honesty, I offer my services to an employer in need of those rare qualities. Please give me a call at XXXXXXX should you be able to be of assistance and a finder’s fee awaits you should this endeavor be successful. I simply wish to exit the field of public education where my attempts to teach fluent Spanish language skills to the present youth fall upon hardened hearts and entertainment-driven obstacles. Thanks in advance no matter what the outcome.

Written, read, but not dictated.

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If only your estate existed

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Where is your sale? Address? Thanks

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WHERE,WHEN,HOW.  I WANT IT ALL

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thank you for wasting my time. not funny.

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I challenge you to a hot air balloon race across the world for all said possessions.   Will also consider boxing a kangaroo in exchange for your robot man servant.

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kf you don’t want early birds then don’t adverstise before you have the garge sale .

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You are an idiot. I have flagged your ad for removal.

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How many monoply man jokes have you got so far? Can’t wait to get sprayed with elephant buckshot, brings back some good memories of being on safari in the Serengeti. Where men are free to be men.

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is the car standard or automatic? are you offering financing? thanks.

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servant problems huh? tell me about it — Mary Antoinette

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flagged.

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