Cat Holder-Downer

Click on CL ad to embiggen:

jobs > et cetera jobs

  • The blog’s mascot needs a summer haircut. For a full screen shot of the illustration, click here.
  • 45 replies, read after the jump.
  • The responses to this ad have restored my faith in how cool people can be and, to a much lesser degree, CL.

Replies

I can help you out!! I work in east XXXX, so I’m out there all the time. I shave my own cat, so I’ve got the necessary experience. And I’m a vet tech. What more could you ask for?? We could even take turns shaving and holding. Get back to me so we can figure out a good time to do this.

======================

You rock. My husband said he will do it but only if he can use the clippers to trim his beard. We moved here three weeks ago and I lost his beard trimmers in the move. He’s pissed. Let us help you help us.

======================

I can help you and your cat. Im not sure why this in italics. Im in East XXXX and have a cat and am not sketchy. I can text a picture to you over the phone. Im good no worries.

=======================

hi, my name is XXXX and I would be more than happy to help out.  I am a huge animal person, three dogs and no cats at the moment, but i’ve had two in the past.  I think I can do the job you need!  Let me know if I can help.  I’m a 19 year old student in college.

Hope all is well,

XXXX

p.s.  I love your ad, it’s time someone brings creativity to craigslist

========================

With that post, I believe that you could have asked for the liver of the last unicorn, and someone would have gotten it for you…heck,  I  want to help hold your cat.

Seriously, I live in W.XXXX, but would be willing to drive just to meet the cat.

Good luck and take care,

========================

That was by far the most amusing job posting I have ever read in my life. Kudos to you, my friend, kudos to you!

====================

Hey Cat Person,

I would love to help you groom your cat.  I grew up convinced I was born to tame and befriend every barn cat in the world, but when I was in fourth grade my parents told me we could never have a cat of our own…since then, I’ve spread out seven among the nuclear family, including three to my sister who didn’t even used to like animals.  I won’t give you my full crazy cat lady resume, but on one occasion I smuggled a kitten I had illicitly adopted at school home on a three and a half hour bus ride with the help of roomy overalls, a friend, and Lord of the Rings.

Enough litter talk! Your cat sounds very chill and compliant, but even if it suddenly did morph into an enraged wildabeast, I would still feel qualified to help hold it down and sooth it back to a feline state.  I bet a lot of jerks who are actually just dog lovers or looking to make twenty bucks are going to respond to this ad and convince you that they are the poop of the scoop for this job, but did any of them memorize all the lyrics to the infamous CATS when they were nine?

And if that just gives you the creeper jeepers under your collar, I also volunteer at XXXX and do other normal, animal lover things.  I go to XXXX and work here in the summer so if you’re worried I might demolish your apartment, put you in a box, or worse steal your cat you have an institution to trace me back to.  If you google my name you might think I am a professional football player, but that is wrong, or you might think I ran a bunch of mediocre cross country times and was a little nerdy in middle school and that would be more correct.

I don’t mind fur balls but I am not a sketch ball, and I can’t think of much more to convince you by this other than I have a street address and a telephone number and an email address and I am a frequent face at XXXX and other public places that offer coffee for sale. I will not solicit you with drugs, Bruce Springsteen records, or cat food, I will just help you give your cat the haircut he deserves, admire and pet his whiskers and scratch behind his ears, and leave y’all to your space.

Let me know if you’d like my help! If not, good luck with your cat and getting used to XXXX.

=========================

This is great! Did you find someone to hold down your cat?

=========================

I just wanted to let you know I loved your add and would drive to XXXX if it wouldn’t cost me $20 in gas haha

=========================

I hope you haven’t already found someone to hold your cat for you!  I just loved the humor and description of the job, and with our son heading off for college in just a few weeks, $20 would come in handy!  I love cats (we have two) and am a part-time pet sitter, so I have experience with all types of cats.  Yours sounds like a sweetheart anyway.  My son and I clip our cats claws every couple of weeks so they don’t shred the furniture, so I’m good at holding down cats.  If I can help you out, please let me know.  Looking forward to hearing from you!

=========================

Hi I was just wondering if you’re still looking for some help with grooming your cat. Having worked in a veterinary setting as well as having two cats of my own, I am quite familiar with feline restraint. I am a bit of a weirdo, but I promise that I’m not a sketch-ball or a creep show. I also appreciate an extensive vinyl collection. I am available after 7 tonight and tomorrow, and after 2ish on friday and saturday.

I love the drawing, by the way.

Thanks,

===========================

Call me XXXXXXX. Your add was hysterical. 🙂

===========================

HAHA ur soo funny i love ur ad! I would help if i lived closer..lamo

===========================

You. Are. My. Hero.

===========================

Hey look, you see here’s my deal.  I’m in-between avenging gigs and I need something to keep my chops up.  I will help you fleece your feline if I can wear a Lone Ranger style mask since I have a sensitive eye condition.

===========================

THE best ad i have seen in my life. i hope you found someone awesome to cut the cat. if not, i don’t want to, but good job on the gut buster.

===========================

Hello

First LOL i love your add and i may very well be your cat lover type who could help you…I also live in east XXXX and i am not in anway a creep weirdo possibly especially seeing as i am replying to your add i only request that you let me take a before and after pic since i am a dork …

ttys

===========================

If you are still looking for someone to help out with your cat, I’d love to. Love my cats (and dog and fish) and cats generally tend to like me. Let me know.

===========================

YES! I want to be a part of this! I’ve always wanted to give my cats haircuts but could never do it, so I’d be down for the experience! My name is XXXX, I’m from Idaho, love kitty cats, and am wwoofing on a farm inXXXX right now but I’ll be in XXXX tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday! Let’s do this!! If you need to see more about me for any strange reason, here’s the link to my couchsurfing page

I look forward to hearing from you and maybe hearing a little more about the cat hair styling you have planned…

==========================

Hey!

I assume since you posted this yesterday, you’ve found someone to help hold you cat down (after all, with a CL post like THAT, who wouldn’t want to help??).  Kidding, but seriously, thought your post was great!  I love kitties (have two of my own) and since one is on the larger side and can’t always seem to reach every part of herself with her tongue, I’ve been considering taking her to get groomed, but thought that watching (and assisting) you in your cat’s hair cut may be a good way to see if I could pull a DIY.  Anyways, I’m not crazy or a weirdo (though I am married, and should my husband ever leave me, I would probably become a crazy cat lady — but that’s in the future!).  If you’re still in need of assistance, let me know, and perhaps something could be arranged!

============================

Even if I didn’t have experience doing this same thing with my cat (and doing related things like giving kitties insulin and pills when I used to pet sit), I’d respond simply because your ad made me laugh so loudly, the person sitting here next to me in XXXX removed herself and her lunch to sit elsewhere. So then. Now that we’ve established that I’m capable and really like your ad-posting style, let’s cut some kitty hair!

=======================

I think that this is awesome! I will totally come help you hold your cat down while you shave it. Just because your post is so amazing!!! I also really like animals. I have 3 dogs and 1 cat. I don’t shave my cat, but I had kittens a few years ago and we had to hold them down and wash them in dawn and then pick fleas out of them. I think that may qualify me for this position.

Well let me know. I promise I am not a sketch ball or weirdo or anything. I am a bit weird, but who isn’t? I work with people with autism mostly children. I have also lived here for the majority of my life. I might bring someone with me possibly, if that is cool.

Well let me know! My name is XXXX by the way. Nice to meet you!

=============================

Hey there, I’ve just nominated you for the best of Craigslist . I like your style. If your not a professional writer then think about it.(seriously) I look on craigs all the time and can’t believe the sophomoric imbeciles that try to compose a simple paragraph . I myself am not a writer nor am I educated . I am just a carpenter.

Someday though who knows, I might get a story published. Until then I’ll just keep looking for an opportunity to make some money and meet new and interesting people. If you need a hand or two I’ll gladly assist you in your mission.

Peace,

============================

sweet ad. ill hold your kitty. i come up to XXXX almost everyday. if we can schedule this to make it reasonably convenient for both of us then lets shave that putty tat ASAP. let me know when you want to do this and i can tell you if i’m available.

thanks,

==============================

Hey, my boyfriend sent me your craigslist ad and I am totally down for helping you out.

I love cats. I used to be afraid of them, but we’re buddies now. We get each other. It’s a beautiful thing.

I live in XXXX, so getting to your place shouldn’t be an issue. Let me know if you’re still interested!

Sincerely,

XXXX

P.S. I am not a creep show

==========================

I don’t want the job…just wanted you to know your posting made my day.

thanks

=================================

Is this all taken care of?

=================================

Hey there!

I couldn’t tell if this ad was for real or not, but the cartoon was clever enough to peak my interest and I could use the extra cash so long as your description is accurate and your cat will not try to disembowel me.  🙂

I’m pretty much available whenever (again, unemployed and could use the cash) except for tomorrow (the 13th) from morning until 2pm-ish.  I’m helping a friend move and he swears it will only take 2-3 hours…I’m a bit skeptical.

I look forward to hearing from you, or at least to receiving a clever response.

==================================

Id be more than happy to help you out. Im not a weirdo and/ or sketch ball (love the ad btw). I am a cat lover. We actually have a feline here. Id be unaccompanied. Any questions comments or complaints, feel free to contact me for further proof of non-sketchiness:

===================================

Funniest shit I’ve heard all week.

===================================

Hi:

GREAT picture.  I only wish I were that creative and clever…even computer capable !  But, I can do other things and am still learning.

I love cats and they love me.

My friends call me the “Cat Whisperer”…so many times I am off doing something (I work on properties p/t) and get that sense of being “watched” just to look up and …you guessed it…see a feline making a bee line for me.  I stick out my index finger, and they come rub up against it.  Odd.  I know.  But, I’m not clever enough to make it up.  (Hey, I’m a guy from XXXX…how smart can I be???)

Ayway, I’m happy to help  …”qualified” and available.

Call me and we’ll set up a time.

===================================

My name is XXXX and I love cats I have 2 myself and I do all the grooming myself with no help, so I completely understand your delima.  If you are still in need of someone I am currently out of work and my daughter is home from school for the summer and she would love to come with ,( she’s 5 so she dosen’t need anything ) but for 20 bucks and a friendly little mush sounds like fun ! Let me know when and where I live in East XXXX, so I’m not far. Talk to you soon !

=============================

Hi there! My name is XXXX and I would love to help you with your grooming-at-home session! I’m unemployed right now so any money is a huge help. I’ll come with my boyfriend if that’s ok. We live in XXXX too. Let us know what day/time is good for you and we’ll let you know if that works for us. We’re definitely not sketchy so you don’t have to worry! We have a large cat (who is quite the handful when I cut his nails), so I can definitely handle your cat who sounds pretty docile. We also have a dog and chinchilla. We’re definitely animal lovers 🙂 Our number is XXXXXXX Give us a call!

===================================

Without a doubt, the most unique posting on craiglist.  If you still need someone, please respond to XXXX at this email with info/questions.  My daughter has a “difficult” cat, so I do have a little experience.

================================

If this is still available to be done I am willing to help, my mother has 5 cats in our house, i am good with cats.

================================

Lol do u still need a hand with the kitty?

================================

haha your posting is funny, have you found anyone to help you with your cat?

================================

Just read your ad…you are someone i need to smoke a joint with.  Cheers to your creative humor

=================================

Hello there! Was perusing Craigslist looking for employment opportunities and happened to stumble across your posting. I have a cat myself (although I have never shaved/cut his hair, haha) so it wouldn’t be an issue for me, not afraid or startled by cats and I promise you I’m no weirdo…just a out of work college student trying to make a buck. Please email me back asap if you still need a hand, I am free pretty much whenever will work for you…I’ll even do it today!! Hope to hear back soon, but have a great day regardless!

Thanks for your time,

==================================

That has to be the funniest job post I’ve seen yet. I’d love a new job, sure wish yours was full time! By the way, you should learn that in XXXX “R”s are removed from every word, and substituted with an “ah”. Conversely, all “ah”s are replaced with “err”s. It helps when making fun of the locals here. 🙂

===================================

That’s the funniest s*** I’ve ever read on line . I would like to come by with my own beer just to watch, just kidding but maybe you have a future as a comedy writer

===================================

I’ve got 2 cats of my own, if you still need help I’d have no problem holding yours down. By the way you describe it, it’ll be a lot easier than my holding my cats for a hair cut.

===================================

Still need help?

===================================

If the offer still stands I would love to help you hold down your cat! That and your help wanting add really caught my attention that tells me your a funny person! So what is your kitty cats name, and is this job still available?

===============================

Hi,

If you’re still in need of a cat holder-downer, I’d love to help! I’ve got three cats of my own, XXX, XXX & XXX currently and grew up with a variety of cats at any given time. I’ve successfully persuaded cats to stay in my arms while bathing and shaving (my cat XXX used to get knots all over and over heated in the summer time, so we’d shave her down. She looked ridiculous but she couldn’t have been happier) and imagine that a with a few rubs around the ear and some scratches at the base of the tail (and hands covered in catnip) I could keep your rawking cat content while you give him or her a perm! I’ve attached my best attempt at a drawing myself (I’m afraid MS Paint is not my best medium) and a picture taken right… Now. You’re also welcome to look me up on facebook (my privacy is a bit high, but if you message me I think you can see it)

I hope to hear from you, because it sounds like fun and I’d love to meet you!

Advertisements